The Secret Curse of Uncle Roy Suryo™ I (a tale of Deddy Corbuzier)

The Secret Curse of Uncle Roy Suryo™ I (a tale of Deddy Corbuzier)

This story is fictional. Person names, if identical to real life character, are purely accidental. All events similarities with real world events described in this fairy tale, is unintentional. If any of the character described in this tales seems familiar, it’s your mind playing trick on you. The author does not intentionally wish discredit or make a character assassination against any person, there’s more then hundreds of thousand other blogger will do that happily. After all, the author doesn’t want to get sued for misquoting… and hacking… whatever he means by that.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008. 2:00 AM (GMT+7)

Uncle Roy™ wriggles uncomfortably on his chair, starring at the news from Kompas online on his once-stolen laptop since yesterday afternoon. His ass feels hot after sitting for hours, his vision blurs, and his minds wanders off, thinking what went wrong.

The headline couldn’t be any grimmer. “Deddy Corbuzier Successfully Tricked Roy Suryo™.”

His been thinking of a way to get around this mess. Misquote? Nah… that’s irrelevant. How about suing Kompas and hundreds of thousands of blogger that post a similar page. No, it wouldn’t be cost effective. Damn those bloggers/hackers. They like cockroach that keep bugging your meals. Why can’t they see what he sees?

One of the online broadcasting media provide a medium for Deddy to humiliate him even before euro 2008 final, the big challenge. They make Deddy look like a magician while Roy Suryo™ look like an ass.

Do they forget how magically he predicted that 68% of friendster account owner use fake identity? He has predicted magically that Windows compared with Linux user is 75:25, and Mac OS is a myth. He knows by instinct that Linux have secretly abandoned their UNIX like kernel and adopted Windows as their base kernel. This is far bigger prediction than just which team wins the euro, against whom… what is the score… who is the goal maker… and the fact that the winner is undefeated.

And they thought Deddy Corbuzier is a magician!

And how dare those people say that Deddy has tricked him. He knows from the start that Deddy was going to predict the euro championship. He has predicted Deddy’s prediction, through a bit of googling about a near future world event. He also very accurately predicted that the 24 hours guarded box in Cilandak Town Square was in fact an empty box after 1 month of analyzing it, just a couple of hours after the box was opened.

But if you think he has seen or heard the result before he make the prediction your wrong. He will swear in the name of himself that for two days since 29 June 2008, although he might be seen watching TV, hearing radio, or browsing the internet, his mind was busy analyzing Sandra Dewi’s 100% fake nude picture for a chance that maybe there 00,01% probability that its authentic. If the news of Deddy’s big stunt flies right under his nose, he wouldn’t notice. His mind was elsewhere.

He grunt and curses the internet again and again, on how fast information travel this day. The very own thing that help raise him to what he is today.

…

Continued